It is quite likely that when you and your partner encounter there conflicts and arguments you blame them rather than take responsibility (of half-responsibility) for the situation. You also tend to disagree with things they tell you about yourself. "You do not know me better than I know yourself", you say in defending yourself. But the truth of the matter is, it is quite likely that you deny and reject in yourself those characteristics, behaviors and attitudes you do not want to see in yourself, which nonetheless are part of "who you are", characteristics, attitudes and behaviors which contribute, in one way or another, to the conflicts, disagreements and arguments the you and your partner experience.
Why do you deny these in you? Because you want to see yourself in one light, not another; to believe in the image you have created yourself through the years, not in the "real you". Often, if you are not aware, you do not even know the "real you" (even though you are sure you do!).
For that reason, when your partner dares to give you feedback related to the way he / she sees you, you might get angry and disagree (especially when the feedback refers to "negative" aspects which you ten to deny in yourself).
Consequently, sticking in to the assertion that your partners are wrong, that you know perfectly well who you are, you either listen to their feedback nor take the time to think about it.
Unfortunately, when you do not take in the feedback, you may stick on the same harmful patterns of behavior which have led you to damage your relationships. You then keep repeating the same self-sabotaging behaviors, being certain that all brake must rest with your partner. Consequently, you feel there is nothing for you to change and improve.
But in order to build and maintain a successful and satisfying intimate relationship, you may want to take it upon yourself to be open to whatever feedback your partner (s) may be giving you. Such feedback can be of high value as you attempts to grow and change whatever needs real change.
Therefore, rather than blaming your partner for criticizing you and trying to "teach" you who you are, listen carefully: is he / she right? Can it be that you have indeed wronged until now? And if so, is there anything you can do to change – for the sake of the current relationship or others which might follow?
It may take courage to agree – or at least carefully listen – to what your partner has to say about you. But such courage is uttermost importance to your own growth and development. It will help you better understand how you "do" relationships; how you come across; how you think, feel and behave – sometimes in ways which, without your knowledge, boomerang back at you and at the relationship. Such courage enables you to become more aware of the way you handle yourself in relationships and the ways in which you may have sabotaged yourself and your relationships until now.
Becoming willing to contemplate the possibility that there might indeed be things about yourself you do not know, and that by developing your self-awareness you will get to understand yourself better, you will become empowered to build and maintain a successful intelligence.